Friday, June 17, 2011

I need a holiday.
Let me tell you, this working-mom-with-two-kids thing is really, really hard work.

The work-family balance is hard to strike with one kid. With two, yes, it's definitely harder. But I think that I'm getting better. Part of that is realizing and admitting to myself that I have limits. I am definitely a person that loves to throw myself into whatever I get involved in. Heart and soul. But that's the problem. When I've got two young ones, I can only throw myself into so many things until I am spread so thin that I've got nothing left for my kids.

I am learning that I can't do it all.
And honestly, learning this has been a great relief.

I am done demanding so much from myself. I am a ridiculous and extreme example of a first born. I am eager to please. I subject myself to high expectations that are really bordering ridiculous (i.e., I used to aim for a perfect day with Sofia when she was a newborn. A perfect day would be if she didn't cry. Yes, I am officially bonkers). I push, push, push...until sometimes I am so exhausted. I now accept this is not a sustainable way to live.

So part of accepting my limits is understanding I need regular times of rest, of changing gears and putting back into myself, so I have something to give my children. This is not only regular holidays, but also daily. Daily, I must get good rest (being woken up pretty much every night means I need to go to bed earlier). Daily, I must take care of my body (exercise and a good diet). Daily, I must be fed spiritually (reading my Bible, spending time with God).

I've been doing a few of things better.

Kids are a handful. They can really take a lot out of you.
There is nothing more rewarding, however. And children will teach you about yourself more than you'd ever care to know. They have really opened my eyes and I have to be willing to grow and learn from them.

What I have learned from them most recently is that I'm not super-human. And I have to keep reminding the first born in me that it is okay.

1 comment:

  1. Well said Kathy.
    I remember when I had Journee I refused to listen to book and friends that told me to take time for me. I thought, "I'm a mom now that means I get put on the back burner". Well I definitely burned out fast.
    The balance is a lesson I'm constantly learning daily.


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