Problem Solved

Friday, April 04, 2008

breakfast routine
Okay, believe it or not, Sofia DOES NOT have thrush. Back and forth, I'm trying to figure out why Sofia is having so much trouble at feeding times and it was really driving me to my wits' end. I started to really lose my temper. Thinking back, it's just ridiculous. She's not even four months yet and I can get angry at her? She's really pulling the worst out of me sometimes. It's amazing how frustrating it can be to not know how to help someone who can't communicate with you.

So, yesterday (Thursday), at 8am, a phone call wakes me out of my sleep. It's my doctor, Dr. Chin. He noticed that I had made an appointment for Sofia on Monday to follow up on her thrush and was wondering why I was waiting until Monday to have him see her. I explained 'cause I looked in her mouth and it's all still there and just wanted to continue to give her the medicine until there were no more days left (7 to 10 days were the instructions). He asked if I could come with Sofia to see him today, he'd stay after hours to see her. I said I couldn't get there 'cause Gonz would have an appointment in the evening. Tomorrow morning, then. I said ok.

Dr. Chin looks in her mouth and says, "Nope, it's not thrush." Ugh. I'm relieved and pissed all at the same time. Apparently, she's got cysts on the roof of her mouth. They're harmless - they may go away by themselves, or they may just stay there and become "part of their anatomy" he says. Now (you're gonna think I'm totally nuts), I'm just sure that she's teething. He said that the white bump on her gum still may be a tooth. Today, she was the fussiest I have ever seen her. She was just crying and crying, and when that happens, I give her this dose of Camilia in a little plastic case. Within five minutes she's calmed down and has no problem with eating. I'm unsure if she'll go back to the breast willingly, but she really has no problem with the bottle at all.

I am in dreamland again.

All the worries and confusion and anxiety about how Sofia was doing was really getting me into a knot. I started losing perspective, and really starting to be at a loss of what to do. Every time she'd really cry, I would look at Gonzo with tears in my eyes and just tell him I can't go through this anymore. It's really hard to see your baby cry so hard, that she's red-faced, gasping for air and you don't know how to comfort her at all.

During all of this time, I let my quiet time slide. I think I didn't just take time out to reflect and look to God to lead me for a whole week. I got distracted by Sofia's troubles and in turn they became much more overwhelming to me than necessary. I couldn't see that my baby is happy and healthy, despite the trouble I have feeding her. But if I had taken the time to seek God and ask for His strength, it would have still been hard, but my brain wouldn't have been in a never-ending loop of let's-diagnose-the-baby-myself!

I'm also super-grateful for the awesome doctor I've got. I told my in-laws and they just couldn't believe that my doctor would even take the time to call me. My in-laws spend most of their time in the waiting rooms of walk-in clinics 'cause they just don't have the relationship with their doctor and can hardly get in to see her anyway.

I'm in a good spot again. What a relief. I hope I have sometime to just ride this one out until the next mystery hits. :-)

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous5/4/08 22:44

    Yay for beautiful doctors who take the time to build relationships with their patients and actually go the extra mile.
    It's good that you were able to reflect on the experience. You're doing a great job as a mother. Thanks for letting us into your world.
    peace out



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