At home

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

They say it's always say that it's great to go away, but always better to come home.

Honestly, this time, coming home was a bit unsettling.

Of course, this isn't saying that I'm not happy to see my friends, or my family, or that I'm not grateful for the life I have here. But I feel like this time, when I came home, my eyes opened up to some things that I didn't see before (which is good), but I don't like (which is bad).

Like, people are so busy here. And what's worse is that I'm busy. I am so busy. People fit INTO my schedule. In Europe (and most of the rest of the world), schedules fit AROUND people. Time drives people around here like slaves. Since I got back, I am trying to be a little less like that. I'm trying to have the attitude at work that I can only do what I can - but of course, still have a great work ethic. The key thing for me is just not letting work stress me out so much that it just lowers the rest of my life, as if this is all that my life is about.

I'm also trying to be a little less tired. I go to work and feel tired every day. Probably because I sleep so late. I am finally living a little bit of my dream of waking early every day. Right now, I'm still sleeping in, but sleeping in is now 7:15am, and not 9:30am, 'cause I go to sleep around 10:30pm now. Last night, Gonzo and I went to sleep at 9:30pm. I don't know why I never discovered this before, but it feels amazing to be at work now, and be fully and completely awake.

Also, I came to having my car window smashed in on Saturday night (not yet a full week that I came back from holidays). Crime is all over the world, but it didn't help the unsettling feeling I've had all week.

I know that it'll pass. I miss my friends in Germany. I miss my new family in Sweden. I hate that I won't be there when big things happen, or when little things do too. That part makes me sad.

But I should be happy that I am home, where I won't miss the things that happen to my friends and family that I already have here.

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