my poor father

Wednesday, July 30, 2003

i hope my dad gets better soon. he said he's feeling better... but he doesn't look better. well, he doesn't look worse. he lies in bed ALL day. i'm glad he's home from work though. i wish my parents didn't have to work anymore. maybe that would be a good and worthy goal for myself to get rich. that way, i could cushion my parents' life beyond compare. they work so hard, and all the time, and get crap for it, and all for us. anyway... friends, pray for him? thanks.

goLive rocks

Tuesday, July 29, 2003

wow. so, i'm actually reading this user's manual. yeah, the one that came in the program box. does anyone actually do that? well, i'd highly recommend it 'cause i'm learning this program inside out. and i'm getting really excited. what's really hard is that i want to just dive into the program, but the program is so complicated, i don't think that i could just figure it out. that's the funny thing about macs: you don't have to ever have touched one in order to know what to do with it; but the programs you use on it, well, nothing could be more complicated. aiya.

we need to pray for him

Monday, July 28, 2003

[here is an email, i have received at work]

Hi Everyone, I received a message from Kaarina with an update on Wayne. Because we did not receive it in time for the prayer letter, I wanted to send it out this morning. This is the summary of her call.

"Hi Pastor Keith, I am so sorry that I have not called back this week. I have been loosing track of days more and more lately. They have been letting me in to see Wayne. I take most of the day preparing myself to go in to the hospital. When I get in it's a real ordeal getting all the garb on. I find it hard breathing but appreciate seeing him. I am there for a few hours but by the time I get home I am so tired. I have been on the go for the last week and a half. I try to get in to see Wayne when ever I can.

He is still in ICU. Some improvement but the right lung is very weak. The left lung is healing well. We need to be praying for his right lung. His heart rate is extremely elevated. Clinically he is looking better. He is more alert and I get to talk to him more everyday. It is a bonus every time I get in. I apologize for not calling but I have been so tired. I miss everyone at APC and so much appreciate your continued prayers." Kaarina

Why not take a moment now and pray for continual healing in Wayne and strength for Kaarina. 1 Cor. 12:26 reminds us that "If one part of the body suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part is honored, every part rejoices with it."

Keith Preston


Sunday, July 27, 2003

i can't sleep. i've visited many blogs. is really cool.
i've collected quite a bit of inspiration today as well. i feel like the reason i can't sleep is because i have too much inspiration that needs to be released. unfortunately, i'm serious.

when i close my eyes, all i can see is all these gorgeous colours, layouts, and ideas and i can't make them stop spinning.

wow - all that i can do, if sleep wasn't necessary.

wow. i'm tired.

Wednesday, July 23, 2003

like the title says.

design breakthrough

Monday, July 21, 2003

i was getting worried. i felt like a lot of stuff looked the same over and over. but i think that more recently, like over the last week or so, i've really broken through the ceiling that i was hitting. i'm experimenting much more with transparencies and it's giving me a richer look. that's what i really wanted too! 'cause i felt like a lot of my stuff looked kind of flat. using transparencies gives me a depth that i wasn't getting before. *sigh* this is so fantastic.

what's also cool is how i'm incorporating christine's work into my own. she's taken some abstract shots with the digital camera, and i've been using them in my own work. it's cool, 'cause i've been using these two couple of shots of hers over and over again. i've used it at least 3 different pieces, and each time they look so different. so, i'm experimenting a lot too which is making me quite pleased.

my baby's home

Saturday, July 19, 2003

*sigh* just brought the company MAC home... how i missed thee! i haven't worked on a mac in so long - at work i'm designing on a PC... working on a mac, the inspiration just hits you in the face when you turn it on. man oh man. i'm so excited. too bad it's 12.55 in the morning. this is going to be keeping me up for a while. i just finished installing something like 6 programs, and you know, setting up stuff the way you like it... now i've gotta break it in. this is just so great!

i'm so in love

Friday, July 18, 2003

you know what? life is just so good. even when it's bad - it's feels so heavy with such a richness. i remember when i was young, and i hardly knew God, when I was debating His existence, when I was unsure about His concern for me, my life felt so light, weightless... i could even imagine myself unexisting. i used to keep thinking about whether i was real or not.

what's so overwhelming is when i think how far God has brought me, even when i'd turn left or right, after the point that i had my eyes opened and i came to the point where it was impossible to believe that God was unreal, unexisting, uncaring, how my life has only become more and more real. it feels like it has substance. direction. blessing. it's so hard to explain the sentiment. my heart is full. i guess the closest thing that i can encapsulate it in is that i feel so in love. but not just with gonzo. (and no, not in a cheating-heart way). i feel head-over-heels about my friends, with what work God has given me, with the abilities God has given me, with the weakness that I've inherited from this broken world, my family... virtually every part of my life.

it's funny that i'm writing this right now - i've just woken up. this is a typical entry for me, late, late, late, late at night, after a wicked time of hanging out - but this is just after a short-night's sleep. this is as real as it gets.

gone away friends

Sunday, July 13, 2003

okay, so i feel like i'm in the grieving process - my good friend jame has left again. i could hardly sleep last night thinking that he's gone and left again. i have no idea when i'll see him again. it really sucks. but i'm so thrilled that i got to see him. it was FOUR WHOLE YEARS since i saw him last. i really hope it's not that long again until i see him next.

it's weird - when i miss someone, i actually have an ache in my chest. i feel unsettled, and even though i'm happy, i'm still somewhat sad inside.


Thursday, July 03, 2003

well, my life has officially become busier than i like. i don't think that i've had a meal at home for about 3 weeks now. I LIKE HOME COOKING. i'm tired of eating out, and driving all over the city to do things that i don't enjoy, and even things that i usually DO enjoy. people need time at home, and right now i'm one of those people. i've hardly seen my parents, and i miss them! and wonderful - i drive out to ottawa tomorrow. but that should be a good trip...

see what i do to myself? i keep running myself low. i complain about not being at home, but as soon as i get an invitation to go out, it's like i think that i have to accept it. and it's not that i don't want to go - I DO WANT TO GO, but that's the problem. I WANT to go, but I really should stay home, because i'm embarking on burnout. by the time the fall rolls around, i'm gonna freak.